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It's the first day of my 50th year! I'm 50!! How did that happen? I really can't wrap my mind around this fact, though, to be honest, my body sometimes feels it. Honestly, we have been celebrating for the better part of a month, so today is a bit low key, giving me some time to reflect on my first 49 years.
I've been blessed with a good life. It hasn't always been easy, but I have definitely been blessed. I was a gift to parents who wanted a baby and couldn't have one and they loved me unconditionally and with their whole hearts, even when I am sure I didn't deserve it. I was also gifted with a very large extended family who loved me like I was one of theirs, never treating me like I was different.
I've known love and I've known loss. Most of my life I have felt like I have known a lot of loss. I would say that hasn't changed. Losing my dad at 15 was definitely hard. It made me stronger. Losing my mom 11 years ago was the hardest thing I have ever done. She was the one person in my world who I always knew I could count on. I miss her every single day (especially on my birthday).
I am responsible for my own happiness. No one else. Me. This is a lesson that takes awhile to learn, but certainly makes life easier. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful husband and great kids, but they can't make me happy. Only I can do that. I continue to find the things that bring me joy. It's little things like a quiet morning, a beautiful sky, or time to paint.
I have talents that I never dreamed of having. Who knew that I can paint? I can make pretty things. I can bless others with my talents with gifts and experiences. Painting calms me and makes me happy. I've always had a creative outlet of some sort, but this my be my favorite.
I am a child of God. I've been a christian most of my life, but I continue to grow. In my 49th year, I was baptized. I do volunteer work for a church and I find that fulfilling. I want to continue to strengthen my relationship with God.
I have big plans for my future. This has been a tough year for a lot of my friends. As we all get older, the news that a friend has a serious illness is more frequent. I see friends with shocking loss or partners and family. I've taken this to heart and want to follow the footsteps of a friend who is battling cancer. He has chosen to "live to live" not "live to die". He is doing everything in his power to live life to the fullest. While I am healthy, I see the value in living every day as though it could be your last. After all, none of us are promised tomorrow. I want to live large with no regrets.
What does my 50th year hold for me?? I am going to use this year to get healthy. I've battled my weight my whole life. This year I am going to focus on getting it in control. I'm also going to focus on my business. I need to stop getting in my own way and focus on my short term and long term goals for myself. I know that this business could be the way that I can retire sooner, plus I just love doing it. I'm going to focus on my faith. I'm going to give God the time that he deserves.
I hope you will stick with me while I work on these goals. One of my goals is to blog... frequently! I want to share my journey! Painting, devotions, recipes, travels... who knows what I will blog about, but get comfortable, we are going to get to know each other well this year.
Looking forward to all that 50 offers!!
Frances