Missing Mom

My mom passed away in July of 2008. She was my best friend and I miss her every single day. She would have been 90 this month.

She's been heavy on my mind for the last several days. I often think of how I wish that I could talk to her and tell her about things that are happening in my life. I wish I could tell her about my girls and how they are growing up. There are still times that something will happen and I think to myself that I need to call mom and tell her that. Just as quickly, I remember that I can't do that, that she is in heaven and already knows.

This week I have given some thought to how I could tell her about what is happening in our world right now. I wrote her a little letter in my mind:

Dear Mom,

Things in the world are a little crazy right now. Actually, I guess I should say that they are crazier than normal. Things have changed so much since you left, but this is very different. You see, there is a virus that has run rampant through out the world. The whole world. Mom, it is scary. People have this illness and don't even know it, and it causes other people to be infected.

As a result, the government has asked people to stay home. There is no school, most people can't go to work, only grocery stores and pharmacies are open. People can't go to church, they have to worship from home online (I know, you don't know what that means). Hospitals are overflowing and they are running out of equipment to help the people who are sick.

Thankfully, my family is all healthy. We are going about life as best we can, but that isn't to say that we aren't feeling the results of this virus. E is a senior in college. She is taking her last class this semester, but there will be no graduation ceremony. She says she doesn't care about walking across the stage, but that is a right of passage that she earned. She still has to work, but they have made dramatic changes to her schedule.

J is supposed to go to the prom with her boyfriend this week. (I know, can you believe that she is old enough to have a boyfriend, let alone go to a prom??). Her sweet boyfriend is a senior and we don't know if they will postpone the prom or cancel it all together. They have been out of school for weeks and we really doubt if they will even go back this year. They have promised that seniors will "be honored" this year, but we don't know exactly what that means. My heart is breaking for these kids who are missing the final weeks of their high school careers.

The kids are bored and miss their normal lives. The media has done a good job of telling everyone that this is more deadly to older people or people who have underlying conditions, so they get frustrated about being stuck at home. The more we learn, though, the more we know that it isn't that selective, it can kill anyone.

Hubby is considered "essential" so he still has to go to work everyday. He does his best to stay safe, but this virus is invisible, so we are distancing ourselves from each other. I can't hug or kiss my husband because we have to be careful that we are not passing this unseen virus to each other. The good part is that he is working from home a lot, so we do have a lot of time together.

I won't even go into what is happening with the economy. Thousands and thousands of people are out of work. Schools are delivering meals to kids who mainly get their meals at school. Did I mention that you can't go eat at a restaurant? I've been doing a lot of cooking. We are definitely blessed, as we are both still working.

The positive part is that life has slowed down. People are coming together as families. They are having meals together, playing games, worshiping, and generally spending time together. Long overdue projects are getting completed. Closets are getting cleaned out. By the way, Goodwill will have a ton of new stuff when this is over!

The worst part is the uncertainty of when life will be back to normal, or what normal will even look like. We don't know when we will go back to work or when kids will go back to school. We don't know when we will be free to travel. We don't know when we will see the rest of our family or grand kids. We don't know if this will come back again in the fall.

Mom, I miss you so much. I miss you everyday. I wish I could talk to you all the time, but right now, I am so relieved that you are with Daddy and Jesus and I don't have to worry about you and this terrible virus. I think about how you lived through tough times in our nation's history. One day we will talk about those times and I will tell you all about this and we can compare notes.

Thank you for indulging me. I needed to get this out of my head and on to "paper". This is a tough time for all of us. Never have I felt helpless like this before. I've found comfort in my faith. I've been spending time in Psalms and my "takeaway' word is REFUGE. More on that another time.

Y'all, please stay home, take care of yourselves and wash your hands!!

Until next time,

Frances